I know how truly blessed we are. Elizabeth was given a 20% chance of survival-thats an 80% chance of not. The doctors told me she may not hear, see, or walk. She can do all these things. (ok, not walk yet but she is getting there and will-soon!) I was prepared for that when we brought her home. I watched like a hawk for any little sign that something wasn't right- isn't early intervention critical after all? I even glanced in the homes for sale; we might need a single store house to accommodate Elizabeth and any needs she may have. Nobody told me that feeding would be a problem. Oh what a problem, it is the biggest stress I have. There hasn't been a single week in the 11 months that Elizabeth has been home when I have felt she was eating well. If it weren't for reading other preemie blogs I would have thought that Elizabeth's was a single unique experience. What is the deal? There have been some days when I had to leave the house when Matt got home I was so stressed about getting this girl to eat. Elizabeth is 11 months old adjusted and weighs 14 pounds. She averages around 20oz a day of 30cal formula (Neosure). On really great days she may take as much as 27oz, but that hasn't happened in a few months. Table foods she likes, but not off a spoon-she must feed herself. I try add calories to everything I can, but I admit that this is something I can do better with. I have no idea how much actually makes it in when she feeds herself, I thought about getting a breastfeeding scale like they used in the NICU to measure intake then thought I would really make myself crazy doing that. We do know that something goes in-we see it come out. Ohh the vomit! Everything that we worked so hard to just get in there just came out! It isn't everyday but lately has been a few times a week. I am not talking about a little bit of baby spit-up. This is projectile everything she has had in her for a while, multiple heaves vomiting. Almost always seems to happen after her bedtime bottle and usually ALL over me. You would think that it was being laid down after eating that triggers the reaction, but it doesn't bother her middle of night or nap feedings-again another mystery. Her reflux is getting worse and we will be switching her to prevacid instead of the zantac she is currently taking. Maybe this will help. Is reflux the cause of her poor eating? Is just being a micro-preemie? Why won't she eat? We have tried with no luck, a wonder drug for many, preiacitn. Elizabeth just didn't respond to it. We were so hopeful that it would be the magic bullet that would propel her onto the growth chart curve. What to do?
What can I do, but go on with my day and do the best I can to get everyone feed. I will continue to fight the battle of wills that results only in me eating more chocolate. I will be thankful that this feeding problem is the biggest one we have, there could be so many more serious ones. I will look at my girls an remember that they are both blessings from God and smile. I will try not to wonder what if she had 16 more weeks to grow. . .
3 comments:
You are truly blessed!
God has held Elizabeth in His hands this far and He will help her to continue to grow. Maybe if you can let Him worry about the feedings, you will relax and she will eat more! That's a lot easier said than done, I know.
Praying that Elizabeth will eat lots...she's ovbiously getting her energy from somewhere because that girl can go! Just remember...God knows the plans He has for her, plans to prosper her and not to harm her, plans to give her hope and a future. And he gives us Mommies chocolate to give us patience throughout the day :o)
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